Wisdom

Wisdom rises upon the ruins of folly. ~ Thomas Fuller



We gain knowledge from other people, but wisdom comes from within. We have to live our own lives, profit from our blunders, and learn from our experience. Nobody can do these things for us.



Part of living is making mistakes. Some of us have to keep on making the same mistakes until we suddenly make a breakthrough and achieve a new perspective on ourselves and our actions. It often seems we are never going to be ready for the next step...and then suddenly we take it and we come through. We think we're not going to make it; then we make a leap forward.



Nothing needs to be lost or wasted in our lives. Even the folly of our problem can teach us hard lessons if we are attentive and brave. Our craziness may help us to see more clearly and gain insight into ourselves and others.

~~

Change is Hard

Change means movement, movement means friction, friction means heat, heat means controversy. ~ Saul Alinsky

We talk about wanting to change, to face up to our issues, and our desire is real and geniune. But we must realize change can continue to involve real pain for ourselves and others.

We have been so comfortable for so long with our issues! They have become a pacifier and a crutch. We wonder why we should bother to move forward and away from our world of ritutal and fantasy and comfort.

But were we really at home there? What about our anger? Our remorse? Our feelings of hopelessness and despair? Our shame that caused us to shun others and isolate ourselves? Were we truly comfortable? Has change been so harsh in comparison to the misery of our issues?

Even knowing there would be struggles and disagreements along the way, one day we decided, "ENOUGH!" We were ready then to face our struggles for a new, honest, way of living.
~

Failure Is An Inside Job

In our culture, too many people bleive that contentment come from attaining material possessions or positions of power. But they aren't the keys to contentment either. If yo are tempted to believe that they are, remember the words of John D. Rockefeller. When a journalist asked him how much wealth was enough, the millionaire, who was at the time one of the richest and most powerful men in the world, answered, "Just a little more".

Contentment comes from having a positive attitiude. It means:

• Expecting the best in everything - not the worst
• Remaining upbeat - even when you get beat up
• Seeing solutions in every problem - not problems in every solution
• Believing in yourself - even when others believe you have failed
• Holding on to hope - even when others say it's hopeless.

No matter what happens to you, a positive attitude comes from within. Your circumstances and your contentment are unrelated.


~John C. Maxwell, in Falling Forward
http://www.johnmaxwell.com/

~

Simple Encouraging thought for a Friday

When I looked at the top of the mountain, I realized that all the people at the top of the mountain, didn't just fall there.

Meditate on that for today. Journal what it means for you in your life, your struggles, your journey.

Let me know your thoughts.

Peace.

Encouraging Hope

What is hope? It is not just positive thinking, a good mindset, or optimism.



Webster's Online dictionary defines hope as "to desire with expectation of obtainment" and "to expect with confidence". It is the feeling that what is desired can be obtained. We can get what we want and that events will turn out for the best.



Other examples or descriptions of hope:

• An adventure, a going forward, a confident search


• A multidimensional dynamic force, characterized by a confident yet uncertain expectation of achieving a future goal. Which, to the hoping person, is realistically possible and personally significant.


• The elevating feeling we experience when we see, in our thoughts and dreams, a path to a better life, a brighter future...with the understanding that significant barriers may exist along the way.


• A non-linear path with many twists and turn of doubt and fear that can negatively affect the view of it


• The feeling of knowing how to get what you want out of life and the desire to make it happen.


• A faith in the unseen


• A spiritual certainty

Without hope there is despair. Studies show that when there is no hope then there often people contemplating death and suicide. When people choose to stop living in their current realm of pain, fear and negative circumstances and seek help (counseling, a friend, a pastor) they are seeking a more hopeful life. We have two paths when dealing with people in despair. We can focus on their mistakes (those twists and turns along the non-linear path), what is wrong with them or we can focus on strengths, their potential for right, so that they may regain hope. Research shows that depressive symptoms decrease as hope is increased.



It is important that we all maintain an attitude of hope. Our attitude and behavior is what helps elicit hope and positive behavior in others. It is important that we express our faith in others and their ability to succeed. We must encourage and empower those we come in contact with to see beyond the discouraging circumstances. We must give them another picture to view, one of possibilities and potential. Hope is contagious, forward-thinking and goal oriented.



Still more essential is that we help others restore their faith in themselves. Once they believe in their own ability to change, then they can see that the circumstances are only temporary and they can get back on the road to hope.



When we encourage exploration of alternatives to the discouraging situation, we are instilling hope. We can do this by validating their feelings of despair, but not giving credence to the lie of despair. We can give them power over the situation by exploring options and alternatives and providing a sounding board for problem-solving. When they learn to develop hope from the inside out, even in one small aspect of their life, they can take that seed of hope and water it into a whole garden of hope. They can take that sliver and generalize it to a whole host of other life situations. They will begin to see possibilities that were once invisible to them.



When people restore hope they can explore where they were and derive meaning from it. They can learn from the past and move forward. They have the ability to set and achieve realistic goals. When the feeling of hope is restored people often feel more capable; they can do what is needed, see beyond today, and visualize their future.





Additional resources:



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope

http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/apahope.htm

http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/assets/alert63.pdf

http://www.attcnetwork.org/userfiles/file/11%20Pages%20from%20AM_v7_Series_4[1].pdf

http://division39.org/pub_reviews_detail.php?book_id=22

http://psy.psych.colostate.edu/courseweb/SUM2008/PY729YalomsTherapeuticFactors.pdf

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hope

~~

Anxiety, Part 3

Some Anxiety Symptoms


Individuals that suffer from anxiety disorder usually exhibit several different symptoms. Some of them are listed below.

• Extreme Fear



• Shortness of breath



• Insomnia



• Irritability



• Feeling of lump in throat



• Muscle spasm/twitching



• Irregular heart beat



• Heart palpitations
  


• Fever/chills

Keep in mind, that there are more symptoms and different degrees of the symptoms. If you feel like you have some of these and are concerened, please see your medical physician or other health care provider or a licensed mental health professional in your area. Because some of these symptoms usually occur with other illnesses it is important to seek professional advice. A physician should be the one to diagnose if you have anxiety.

For an idea of where you are with your anxiety, you can take this online assessment (for educational purposes only). Share your results with your PCP or MH professional.


It is always best to rule out other medical conditions. Ruling these out sometimes bring some peace of mind and can go a long way in easing some of your anxiety related symptoms.




Finally, tomorrow we'll look at some treatment options


~

Healthy Lifestyle Balance on Vacation

Have reasonable expectations for vacation.


a. Keep track of your eating and activity as much as possible.


b. Weigh yourself often, but remember that scales differ.


c. Plan to maintain your weight; don’t expect weight loss. Figure fat and calorie goals for maintenance.


d. Let go a little. For example, eat something special. Choose the best and leave the rest. That is, when you decide to eat a special high fat food, choose quality, not quantity. Choose the best thing available, take a small portion, eat slowly, and enjoy every mouthful.


e. Get extra activity. If you slip with eating a little, this will often compensate.

~

Healthy Lifestyle Balance on Vacation

Some of us vacation alone but most of have some arranging to do with family and friends. Have a family talk well before the vacation to discuss such issues as:

a. What did we like about our last vacation? What were the problems? Make a specific plan for what you will do on this vacation, including pleasures other than food and drink.

b. Discuss how you will handle food and eating out. How often will we eat out? What types of restaurants will we choose? Are there low-fat/calorie options for you? Can we split entrees or desserts? If eating in (e.g., if renting a beach house), will we have tempting high-fat/calorie foods like cookies, candy and cake in the house? If so, can they be stored out of sight and separate from other foods? Can family members agree to eat these foods only when eating out?

c. Can we find a fun way to all be physically active this vacation? Examples: bike riding, mountain climbing, hiking, walking on the beach, bird watching, golfing (walking the course), etc.

d. Get the family to agree not to nag you about what you eat or your activity plan.

e. Talk about positive ways your family can help (for example, praising you when you are sticking to your low fat food plan, going on walks with you, helping you out so that you don’t get too tired or stressed).
~

~ Myths about Dieting and Food ~

Myth: Certain foods, like grapefruit, celery, or cabbage soup, can burn fat and make you lose weight.

Fact: No foods can burn fat. Some foods with caffeine may speed up your metabolism (the way your body uses energy, or calories) for a short time, but they do not cause weight loss.

Tip: The best way to lose weight is to cut back on the number of calories you eat and be more physically active.

~ Myths about Dieting and Food ~

Myth : Starches are fattening and should be limited when trying to lose weight.

Fact: Many foods high in starch, like bread, rice, pasta, cereals, beans, fruits, and some vegetables (like potatoes and yams) are low in fat and calories. They become high in fat and calories when eaten in large portion sizes or when covered with high-fat toppings like butter, sour cream, or mayonnaise. Foods high in starch (also called complex carbohydrates) are an important source of energy for your body.

Tip: A healthy eating plan is one that:
Emphasizes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fat-free or low-fat milk and milk products.
Includes lean meats, poultry, fish, beans, eggs, and nuts.
Is low in saturated fats, trans fat, cholesterol, salt (sodium), and added sugars.

For more specific information about food groups and nutrition values, visit http://www.healthierus.gov/dietaryguidelines.

~ Myths about Dieting and Food ~

Myth: Lifting weights is not good to do if you want to lose weight, because it will make you “bulk up.”

Fact: Lifting weights or doing strengthening activities like push-ups and crunches on a regular basis can actually help you maintain or lose weight. These activities can help you build muscle, and muscle burns more calories than body fat. So if you have more muscle, you burn more calories—even sitting still. Doing strengthening activities 2 or 3 days a week will not “bulk you up.” Only intense strength training, combined with a certain genetic background, can build very large muscles.

Tip: In addition to doing moderate-intensity physical activity (like walking 2 miles in 30 minutes) on most days of the week, try to do strengthening activities 2 to 3 days a week. You can lift weights, use large rubber bands (resistance bands), do push-ups or sit-ups, or do household or garden tasks that make you lift or dig. Strength training helps keep your bones strong while building muscle, which can help burn calories.

For more information about the benefits of physical activity and suggestions on how to be more active, read the 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, available online at http://www.health.gov/PAguidelines.

~ Myths about Dieting and Food ~

Myth : Eating after 8 p.m. causes weight gain.

Fact: It does not matter what time of day you eat. It is what and how much you eat and how much physical activity you do during the whole day that determines whether you gain, lose, or maintain your weight. No matter when you eat, your body will store extra calories as fat.

Tip: If you want to have a snack before bedtime, think first about how many calories you have eaten that day. And try to avoid snacking in front of the TV at night—it may be easier to overeat when you are distracted by the television.

~ Myths about Dieting and Food ~

Myth: Skipping meals is a good way to lose weight.

Fact: Studies show that people who skip breakfast and eat fewer times during the day tend to be heavier than people who eat a healthy breakfast and eat four or five times a day. This may be because people who skip meals tend to feel hungrier later on, and eat more than they normally would. It may also be that eating many small meals throughout the day helps people control their appetites.

Tip: Eat small meals throughout the day that include a variety of healthy, low-fat, low-calorie foods.

For more information about healthy eating, read the Weight-control Information Network brochure Healthy Eating and Physical Activity Across Your Lifespan: Tips for Adults.

Great Article on Motivation to Exercise!

EXERCISE MOTIVATION TIPS
How much exercise do I need?
Recent studies indicate that low-level exercise done most days of the week is enough to help keep us healthy. Strive for three types of exercise into your daily routine: aerobic, to get your heart rate up (20 minutes a day); strength-building, to build muscles (15 to 25 minutes twice a week); and stretching, to lengthen and loosen muscles and joints (5 to 10 minutes a day). Just a total of 30 minutes of exercise most days is enough to help you stay healthy! Always check with your physician before starting any exercise routine.

How do I get motivated?

Below are some strategies to get you moving.

Pick activities that are fun and appeal to you. There are plenty of activities out there — try swing dancing, bowling, yoga, ice skating or hiking. Combine exercise with other activities you enjoy. For instance, if you like the beach, what better way to enjoy its sights and sounds than to take a long walk?
Having a partner can help motivate you to exercise. Develop a buddy system either face-to-face or by phone or e-mail contact.
Keep an activity journal where you write down your fitness goals for the week. Then at the end of the week, see how close you came to meeting your goals. If you faltered at any time, figure out why you did. If, for instance, you said you were going to walk when you got home from work, maybe you found that preparing dinner or your daily commute got in the way. Once you know what prevented you from exercising, you can refine your goals to better suit your lifestyle. In addition to recording what you did, chart how your body felt after you exercised, what thoughts helped spur you, when you wanted to cut your session short, how it felt to accomplish your goals, etc. Your journal can be a powerful tool in helping you to get and stay motivated. Use it!
Make a no-excuses pact with yourself. Each one of us could probably come up with a whole list of excuses as to why we can't exercise. Try to nip this excuse reflex in the bud by confronting it in the beginning. Have a firm conversation with that little voice inside you that has prevented you from keeping promises to yourself in the past. Tell the voice that you're going to exercise for your health and because you enjoy it. When it tries to speak up, sing a song, change your thoughts or, better yet, start exercising to shut it up. The most common reasons given for not continuing an exercise program are lack of time and boredom. Think of ways to try to combat these excuses before you begin your program. For instance, to fit in exercise, try scheduling exercise in a daily appointment book. Seeing your exercise plan in black and white may help you to stay motivated.
Get into a positive mindset or as Nike says, "just do it!" Think good thoughts about the prospect of exercise, such as how refreshing it will feel to move about freely. Once you start exercising, focus on increased feelings of self-esteem, a sense of accomplishment and the increased energy levels that exercise brings. If you slack off for a few days or several weeks, wipe the slate clean and start again. Don't use messing up as an excuse for giving up.
Set realistic goals. Trying to exercise at an overly vigorous pace can set the stage for dropping out. If you haven't exercised in a while, keep your initial goals modest. For instance:* I will walk three times a week for 20 minutes. * I will stretch for five minutes three times a week. * I will exercise with 2 ½ pound-weights for 15 minutes twice a week. In a few weeks, after you achieve these goals, you can set new goals. For example, you can increase the length of time you spend exercising. Eventually, you should exercise at least 30 minutes most days of the week.

How hard should my heart work?
In order to reap health benefits you should exercise at your target heart rate for at least 20 minutes three times a week. Your target heart rate is the rate at which your heart is working at 65-70% of its maximum capacity. To find out if you're working hard enough, stop exercising about halfway through your exercise routine and find a pulse point. (Your wrist or carotid artery in your neck work best.) Count the beats in a 30-second period and multiply by 2. This is your heart rate. Now, see how it fits into the calculator below.

Why is walking the perfect exercise?
It's safe, effective and almost anyone can do it. Besides warding off many diseases that result from inactivity, such as heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis and certain forms of cancer, walking can also help relieve pain from headaches, fibromyalgia, lower back, joints, pulled muscles and other conditions. Why? Because walking (and other exercise) stimulates the release of mood-elevating endorphins, chemicals in the brain that minimize pain.

Here are some tips to help you get the most out of your walking program:

• If you're not used to exercise, start off slowly. For the first week or two, set modest goals such as walking for 10 minutes or around the block.
• Gradually work up to a more vigorous program. Eventually, you should walk (or do another form of exercise) nearly every day for at least 30 minutes.
• When walking, always strive for a brisk pace. You should push yourself a bit, but there is no need to become breathless. A good test is to try walking and talking at the same time. If you can't, slow your pace a bit. If it seems too easy, pick it up. Music with a good beat played on a headset can help you keep a strong pace.
• Find a walking buddy. Walking with a partner can take your mind off the distance traveled and, if you are walking early in the morning or after dark, it's much safer.
• Try to stay in good walking form at all times: Hold your head high, tuck your pelvis under your torso, tighten your abdomen slightly and swing your arms at a 90-degree angle.

Why do I need to stretch?

Proper stretching can loosen muscles and joints, prevent muscle pulls and tears, increase mobility and improve circulation.

Here are some stretching guidelines:

• Breathe normally when performing stretches.
• Stretch for a few minutes after you wake up in the morning, after sitting for long periods of time and whenever you feel tense.
• Stretches should be done slowly. Don't bounce.
• Don't push the stretch too far. Stretching should not be painful.
• In the beginning, hold each stretch for at least 10 seconds. Work up to 30 to 60 seconds for each exercise.
• If you plan to stretch before a work-out, first do a 5 or 10 minute warm-up (such as jogging in place, walking on a treadmill or riding a stationary bicycle.) Stretching muscles that aren't warmed up can result in tears and pulls.

This article is from vHealthHighway, Virtua's monthly e-mail newsletter on health and wellness issues. To subscribe click here.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #13 of 13

Irrational Belief #13: Because I’ve fallen back from my food plan many times, it’s hopeless, and I’ll never be able to keep eating properly.

Challenges:

• Because I’ve fallen back from my food plan many times, I find it difficult to keep eating properly. But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless or impossible.
• It is quite common that people fail many times at a goal before they find their way to succeed.
• I am as human as the next person.
• I’ll keep trying!

Behavior: Keep a log of incidents of falling back from your food plan, then note how you challenged your irrational belief, and how you successfully managed your food plan following the incident. Identify other situations where you failed multiple times but then eventually succeeded.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #12 of 13

Irrational Belief #12: Eating poorly and stupidly makes me a rotten, stupid person.

Challenges:

• Eating poorly and stupidly makes me a person who is now behaving poorly around eating and who can change and eat better in the future.
• My value as a human being is not dependent on my eating behavior.
• My intelligence has nothing to do with my eating.
• People at every IQ level can behave badly around food AND people at every level can behave appropriately around food....regardless of my IQ, I have a choice how I behave.
  

Behavior: Keep a log of incidents of eating poorly and stupidly, then note how you challenged your irrational belief and how you successfully managed your food plan following the incident.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #10 of 13

Irrational Belief #10: I am poor at managing my food.

Challenges:

• At times I eat well and can manage food better now and in the future.
• I lacked skills in managing, but I am able to learn and do better each day.
• Because I was poor at managing in the past does not mean I cannot be good at it with time, effort, and patience with myself.
  

Behavior: Develop written guidelines for each meal to follow your food plan. Avoid impulse shopping. Prepare shopping lists and shop when not hungry.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #9 of 13

Irrational Belief #9: I’m hungry and if I don’t eat right now, it will never end and I won’t be able to stand it.

Challenges:

• If I don’t eat right now, I will continue to lose.
• This one extra food will not really make me feel any better, but it will directly delay my goal.
• The hunger I am feeling is a type of pain. It will fade if I can just wait a half hour. I’ll be able to make it.
• The grumbling in my stomach, the empty feelings and the cravings for food mean I am losing weight.
• This feeling is temporary, and if I can hold out just an hour or so it will be a major accomplishment!
• This is the most difficult effort I will ever have to make, and it’s worth the doing!
• What will it really do for me if I eat now? I will still want food but will have to work even harder to lose weight.
• How will I feel if I give in to the pain? (Think back to the previous times when you have given in, during other weight-loss attempts).
• Will my peers, friends and loved ones respect me if I give in to their sabotage or discouragement?
• How will I feel if I hold out a bit longer?
• If I’ve done it for a few days why can’t I do it for as long as it takes; how is now different?
• When I feel like this I will delay eating for 15 minutes and see if I still feel the same way after that time.
  

Behaviors: Practice these challenges when you feel this way and identify which ones work best for you.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #8 of 13

Irrational Belief #8: The situation/people/food made me eat.

Challenge:

• In some situations I feel tempted or weak, but I am the only one that can control my actions.
• If I act contrary to my own goals, I will try better to understand my own actions and thinking, rather than blame others.
• I will take responsibilty for my thoughts and actions.

Behavior: Take action to remove or reduce unnecessary temptation within your control as appropriate; i.e. do not keep unhealthy food in the house, choose restaurants that are more consistent with your food plan.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #6 of 13

Irrational Belief #6: I shouldn’t have to do this.

Challenges:

• I am heavy because of my biology and my actions, and I can choose to stay this way or change it. If I decide to change it, I will because I want to, not because I have to; therefore I should manage my food if I want to change.
• Life is not fair, and there are no rules that anyone should or should not do anything.
• I use words like “should” to excuse me from engaging in behaviors that I find difficult.
  

Behavior: Keep log about how frequently you think about “shoulds.” Dispute the “shoulds” on every occasion.