WHAT DOES THE ABYSS HOLD FOR YOU?

Many people find themselves contemplating goals that seem outrageous or unattainable. In the mind’s eye, these individuals stand at the edge of a precipice and look out over the abyss at the fruit of their ambition.

Some resist the urge to jump, paralyzed by the gap between their current circumstances and the life of their dreams.

Others make a leap of faith into the unknown, unsure of what they will encounter but certain that they will gain more in their attempts than they would bowing to self-protective instincts.

This leap can be exceedingly difficult for individuals with control issues because the act of embracing uncertainty requires them to trust that surrender will net them the rewards they seek. Yet when you make a leap of faith, believing without a doubt that you will land safely on the other side, you can accomplish almost anything you set out to do.

You may encounter instances in which your objectives require you to step outside of the boundaries of your established comfort zone so that you may freely and actively jettison yourself into a new phase of your life. While you may fear what seems to be the inevitable fall, consider that in all likelihood you will find yourself flying.

A successful leap of faith requires your attention, as it is the quiet and often indistinct voice of your inner self, fuel by God, that will point you toward your ultimate destination. Understand that the leap across the chasm of ambiguity may challenge you in unforeseen ways but you will make it across if you trust yourself.

The more you know about the leap you are poised to take, the smaller the gap between "here" and "there" will appear to be. Your courageous leap of faith can lead you into uncharted territory, enabling you to build a new, more adventurous life. Though you may anticipate that fear will be your guide on your journey across the abyss, you will likely discover that exhilaration is your constant companion.

Be safe

Wisdom

Wisdom rises upon the ruins of folly. ~ Thomas Fuller



We gain knowledge from other people, but wisdom comes from within. We have to live our own lives, profit from our blunders, and learn from our experience. Nobody can do these things for us.



Part of living is making mistakes. Some of us have to keep on making the same mistakes until we suddenly make a breakthrough and achieve a new perspective on ourselves and our actions. It often seems we are never going to be ready for the next step...and then suddenly we take it and we come through. We think we're not going to make it; then we make a leap forward.



Nothing needs to be lost or wasted in our lives. Even the folly of our problem can teach us hard lessons if we are attentive and brave. Our craziness may help us to see more clearly and gain insight into ourselves and others.

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Change is Hard

Change means movement, movement means friction, friction means heat, heat means controversy. ~ Saul Alinsky

We talk about wanting to change, to face up to our issues, and our desire is real and geniune. But we must realize change can continue to involve real pain for ourselves and others.

We have been so comfortable for so long with our issues! They have become a pacifier and a crutch. We wonder why we should bother to move forward and away from our world of ritutal and fantasy and comfort.

But were we really at home there? What about our anger? Our remorse? Our feelings of hopelessness and despair? Our shame that caused us to shun others and isolate ourselves? Were we truly comfortable? Has change been so harsh in comparison to the misery of our issues?

Even knowing there would be struggles and disagreements along the way, one day we decided, "ENOUGH!" We were ready then to face our struggles for a new, honest, way of living.
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Failure Is An Inside Job

In our culture, too many people bleive that contentment come from attaining material possessions or positions of power. But they aren't the keys to contentment either. If yo are tempted to believe that they are, remember the words of John D. Rockefeller. When a journalist asked him how much wealth was enough, the millionaire, who was at the time one of the richest and most powerful men in the world, answered, "Just a little more".

Contentment comes from having a positive attitiude. It means:

• Expecting the best in everything - not the worst
• Remaining upbeat - even when you get beat up
• Seeing solutions in every problem - not problems in every solution
• Believing in yourself - even when others believe you have failed
• Holding on to hope - even when others say it's hopeless.

No matter what happens to you, a positive attitude comes from within. Your circumstances and your contentment are unrelated.


~John C. Maxwell, in Falling Forward
http://www.johnmaxwell.com/

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Facing Challenges

Our lives are an exercise in facing challenges. We dream the grandest of dreams as youngsters only to discover that we must have loads of inner strength and determination in order to meet our goals. Our hard work does not always yield the results we expect. And it is when we find ourselves frustrated by the trials we face or unable to meet our own expectations that we are most apt to take notice of those individuals who appear to accomplish great feats effortlessly. Some people’s lives seem to magically fall into place. We can see the blessings they have received, the ease with which they have attained their desires, their unwavering confidence, and their wealth. But, because we can never see the story of their lives as a whole, it is important that we refrain from passing judgment or becoming envious.

Throughout our lives, we glimpse only the outer hull of others’ life experiences, so it’s tempting to presuppose that the abundance they enjoy is the result of luck rather than diligent effort. In a small number of cases, our assumptions may mirror reality. But very few people “have it easy.” Everyone must overcome difficulties and everyone has been granted a distinctive set of talents with which to do so. An individual who is highly gifted may nonetheless have to practice hours upon hours and correct themselves repeatedly in order to hone their talents. Their accomplishments are more likely than not the result of ongoing hard work and sacrifice. You, no doubt, have natural abilities that you have nurtured and your gifts may be the very reason you strive as tirelessly as you do. Yet others see only the outcome of your efforts and not the efforts themselves.

Our intellects, our hearts, and our souls are constantly being tested. Life will create new challenges for you to face each time you prove yourself capable of overcoming the challenges of the past. What you deem difficult will always differ from that which others deem difficult. The tests you will be given will be as unique as you are. If you focus on doing the best you can and making use of the blessings you have been given, the outcome of your efforts will be a joyous reflection of your dedication.
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Dealing with Boredom

The human mind thrives on novelty. What was once a source of pleasure can become tedious after a time. Though our lives are full, boredom lurks around every corner because we innately long for new experiences. Yet boredom by its very nature is passive. In this idle state of mind, we may feel frustrated at our inability to be productive or engage in tasks. We may even attempt to lose ourselves in purposeless or self-destructive pursuits like addictions or overeating.

While this can be a sign of depression, it can also be an invitation to challenge yourself. Boredom can become the motivation that drives you to learn, explore the exotic, experiment, and develop your true potential.

In some religious traditions, boredom is perceived as a pathway to self-awareness. Boredom itself is not detrimental to the soul—it is the manner in which we respond to it that determines whether it becomes a positive or a negative influence in our lives. When you respond by actively filling the emptiness you feel lurking in yourself, you cultivate creativity and innovation. If, when in the grip of boredom, you have difficulty acknowledging the merits of any activities you might otherwise enjoy, generate your own inspiration.

Before you find yourself beset by boredom, sit down now and create a list of tasks you can consult when it feels like there is simply nothing to do. Referring to a list of topics you want to learn more about, projects you’ve yet to begin, or even pending chores can spark your creativity and reawaken your zest for life.

When we are troubled by boredom, it is not that there is nothing to do but rather that we are not stimulated by the options before us. A bored mind can be the canvas upon which innovation is painted and the womb in which novelty is nourished. When you identify boredom as a signal that you need to test your boundaries, it can be the force that presses you to strive for opportunities you thought were beyond your reach and to indulge your desire for adventure.

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Simple Encouraging thought for a Friday

When I looked at the top of the mountain, I realized that all the people at the top of the mountain, didn't just fall there.

Meditate on that for today. Journal what it means for you in your life, your struggles, your journey.

Let me know your thoughts.

Peace.

Another Thought on Conquering Our Fears

Everyone has fears—it is a natural part of being human. Fear can protect us from harm by sending a rush of adrenaline to help us physically deal with potential danger. If we did not have fear, we would boldly walk off the edge of cliffs or play in rush-hour traffice. But there are times when fear may keep us from participating fully in life. It can paralize us by what we percieve to be "danger" in social situations, people, objects, or life in general. These are the phobias we explored earlier. A children's book my kids enjoy talks about "Fear can be your friend, or fear can be your foe....that's something everyone needs to know". So true.

Once we realize that fear is a state of mind, we can choose to face our fears, change our minds, and live the life we want to live.

Our minds are powerful tools. Like computers, storing and using data, our minds make certain connections between thought and response. We have the ability to observe these and choose differently. No matter where the fear came from, we can create new connections by choosing new thoughts. We can create a new experience of reality. This journey requires many small steps, as well as patience and courage through the process.

Here’s an example: You decide to overcome your fear of driving on the freeway. Your plan of action starts with examining your thoughts and finding a new way of seeing the situation. When you’re ready, you enlist a calm companion to support you as you take the first step of merging into the slow lane and using the first exit. Your heart may be racing, but your confidence will be boosted by the accomplishment. Repeat this until you are comfortable, with or without help, and then drive one exit further! When you are ready, you can try driving in the middle lane, for longer periods each time, until you find yourself going where you want to go. This gradual process is similar for conquering any fear, but if you find it overwhelming, you can always seek the help of a professional.

You may think that you are the only one with a particular fear, that nobody else could possibly be scared of ordinary things such as water, heights, public speaking, or flying. These types of fears are very common, and you can have great success overcoming them. Remember, it is not the absence of the fear but the courage to take action anyway that determines success. When we learn to face our fears, we learn to observe our thoughts and feelings but not be ruled by them. Instead we choose how to shape the lives we want.
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High Anxiety

We've looked at weight and nutrition and diet for the past couple months. Let's look a little at well-being.

We'll start with anxiety. Put in a very simple term, anxiety is all about fear. When you have anxiety, at the root is a fear of something. A good example is the "butterflies in the stomach" most of us have gotten before we had to give a talk, or say our line in the school play, etc. What's another term for those "butterflies"? Stage FRIGHT. Meaning we are afraid, or have fear, of getting in front of others.

Let's look at anxiety in more depth over the next few days.

Understanding Anxiety

Anxiety is a protection mechanism that the body uses to alert us to trouble. It puts our body in what's called a "fight or flight mode" and alerts us so we can react. It is also a normal reaction to stress. If you've ever come across a rabbit in the yard you may see them tense up and watch you, to see what you will do. They are in a "fight or flight" mode. They are waiting to see if they need to defend themselves or they need to run like hell. We are the same. When we percieve trouble (in any form) our body does the same thing. We have fear and our body waits to see what we should do about it.

We cannot get rid of anxiety because this is how the human body is made to operate. Anxiety is designed to protect us and help us face challenges. When our body is constantly or too often in this fight or flight mode and as a result we start to experience psychological, physical or emotional stress this is called anxiety disorder.

Too much stress can also lead to weight problems since when we are stressed our body naturally stores fat, or minimally, stops burning fat, just in case we need to "run like hell", we have the energy from the fat to burn. Fortunately most "stress" does not result in our need to run like hell, but our body does not necessarily know that. If we experience constant stress, then our body continues to burn less fat, store more.

This we can control and minimize to the point where it does not disrupt our daily lifestyle. However the first step in controlling anxiety is to understand how it affects us.

Tomorrow, we will look at the different types of anxiety problems.

Healthy Lifestyle Balance on Vacation

Final Thoughts on Vacationing and remaining Healthy:

Take time to think about the problems in advance. For example, you normally walk every morning before work, but you plan to sleep in on vacation.

Write out the problem and list some possible solutions. Could you walk every afternoon to a scenic area (such as along the beach)?

Decide on your best solution and write it out.

Agree with yourself in advance that if you are able to carry out the plan, you will somehow reward yourself afterwards.

Be specific about the goal and the reward.

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Healthy Lifestyle Balance on Vacation

If you tend to be tense on vacation, ask why and what you can do about it.

a. Avoid extended periods when you are doing what others want and not what you want. Be assertive about what you want to do.

b. Plan daily times to relax. Try not to get overtired (e.g., by doing too much sightseeing in a short period of time).

c. Plan regular breaks while driving. Carry low-calorie snacks and take breaks to get out of the car and walk.
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Healthy Lifestyle Balance on Vacation

Plan pleasures other than food and drink.

a. Plan the kind of vacation you want. One way to think about this is to ask yourself, What about your daily routine do you want to escape from? (For example, if your routine is a hectic, crammed schedule, it’s vital that you not repeat this pattern on your vacation. If you do a lot of driving on the job, you might not want to spend your vacation driving.) What kinds of pleasures and freedom do you want to escape to? (What do you like to do most? Go to a faraway, scenic spot? Or stay at home and enjoy some free time? Make lots of time for a favorite hobby or sport? Spend time with old friends?)

b. Think about what you like to do for physical activity. Can you find a way to make that part of your vacation?

c. Be prepared to be assertive with others about what you want to do on vacation if you are going on vacation with family or friends. Negotiate a compromise if necessary.
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Great Article on Motivation to Exercise!

EXERCISE MOTIVATION TIPS
How much exercise do I need?
Recent studies indicate that low-level exercise done most days of the week is enough to help keep us healthy. Strive for three types of exercise into your daily routine: aerobic, to get your heart rate up (20 minutes a day); strength-building, to build muscles (15 to 25 minutes twice a week); and stretching, to lengthen and loosen muscles and joints (5 to 10 minutes a day). Just a total of 30 minutes of exercise most days is enough to help you stay healthy! Always check with your physician before starting any exercise routine.

How do I get motivated?

Below are some strategies to get you moving.

Pick activities that are fun and appeal to you. There are plenty of activities out there — try swing dancing, bowling, yoga, ice skating or hiking. Combine exercise with other activities you enjoy. For instance, if you like the beach, what better way to enjoy its sights and sounds than to take a long walk?
Having a partner can help motivate you to exercise. Develop a buddy system either face-to-face or by phone or e-mail contact.
Keep an activity journal where you write down your fitness goals for the week. Then at the end of the week, see how close you came to meeting your goals. If you faltered at any time, figure out why you did. If, for instance, you said you were going to walk when you got home from work, maybe you found that preparing dinner or your daily commute got in the way. Once you know what prevented you from exercising, you can refine your goals to better suit your lifestyle. In addition to recording what you did, chart how your body felt after you exercised, what thoughts helped spur you, when you wanted to cut your session short, how it felt to accomplish your goals, etc. Your journal can be a powerful tool in helping you to get and stay motivated. Use it!
Make a no-excuses pact with yourself. Each one of us could probably come up with a whole list of excuses as to why we can't exercise. Try to nip this excuse reflex in the bud by confronting it in the beginning. Have a firm conversation with that little voice inside you that has prevented you from keeping promises to yourself in the past. Tell the voice that you're going to exercise for your health and because you enjoy it. When it tries to speak up, sing a song, change your thoughts or, better yet, start exercising to shut it up. The most common reasons given for not continuing an exercise program are lack of time and boredom. Think of ways to try to combat these excuses before you begin your program. For instance, to fit in exercise, try scheduling exercise in a daily appointment book. Seeing your exercise plan in black and white may help you to stay motivated.
Get into a positive mindset or as Nike says, "just do it!" Think good thoughts about the prospect of exercise, such as how refreshing it will feel to move about freely. Once you start exercising, focus on increased feelings of self-esteem, a sense of accomplishment and the increased energy levels that exercise brings. If you slack off for a few days or several weeks, wipe the slate clean and start again. Don't use messing up as an excuse for giving up.
Set realistic goals. Trying to exercise at an overly vigorous pace can set the stage for dropping out. If you haven't exercised in a while, keep your initial goals modest. For instance:* I will walk three times a week for 20 minutes. * I will stretch for five minutes three times a week. * I will exercise with 2 ½ pound-weights for 15 minutes twice a week. In a few weeks, after you achieve these goals, you can set new goals. For example, you can increase the length of time you spend exercising. Eventually, you should exercise at least 30 minutes most days of the week.

How hard should my heart work?
In order to reap health benefits you should exercise at your target heart rate for at least 20 minutes three times a week. Your target heart rate is the rate at which your heart is working at 65-70% of its maximum capacity. To find out if you're working hard enough, stop exercising about halfway through your exercise routine and find a pulse point. (Your wrist or carotid artery in your neck work best.) Count the beats in a 30-second period and multiply by 2. This is your heart rate. Now, see how it fits into the calculator below.

Why is walking the perfect exercise?
It's safe, effective and almost anyone can do it. Besides warding off many diseases that result from inactivity, such as heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis and certain forms of cancer, walking can also help relieve pain from headaches, fibromyalgia, lower back, joints, pulled muscles and other conditions. Why? Because walking (and other exercise) stimulates the release of mood-elevating endorphins, chemicals in the brain that minimize pain.

Here are some tips to help you get the most out of your walking program:

• If you're not used to exercise, start off slowly. For the first week or two, set modest goals such as walking for 10 minutes or around the block.
• Gradually work up to a more vigorous program. Eventually, you should walk (or do another form of exercise) nearly every day for at least 30 minutes.
• When walking, always strive for a brisk pace. You should push yourself a bit, but there is no need to become breathless. A good test is to try walking and talking at the same time. If you can't, slow your pace a bit. If it seems too easy, pick it up. Music with a good beat played on a headset can help you keep a strong pace.
• Find a walking buddy. Walking with a partner can take your mind off the distance traveled and, if you are walking early in the morning or after dark, it's much safer.
• Try to stay in good walking form at all times: Hold your head high, tuck your pelvis under your torso, tighten your abdomen slightly and swing your arms at a 90-degree angle.

Why do I need to stretch?

Proper stretching can loosen muscles and joints, prevent muscle pulls and tears, increase mobility and improve circulation.

Here are some stretching guidelines:

• Breathe normally when performing stretches.
• Stretch for a few minutes after you wake up in the morning, after sitting for long periods of time and whenever you feel tense.
• Stretches should be done slowly. Don't bounce.
• Don't push the stretch too far. Stretching should not be painful.
• In the beginning, hold each stretch for at least 10 seconds. Work up to 30 to 60 seconds for each exercise.
• If you plan to stretch before a work-out, first do a 5 or 10 minute warm-up (such as jogging in place, walking on a treadmill or riding a stationary bicycle.) Stretching muscles that aren't warmed up can result in tears and pulls.

This article is from vHealthHighway, Virtua's monthly e-mail newsletter on health and wellness issues. To subscribe click here.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #13 of 13

Irrational Belief #13: Because I’ve fallen back from my food plan many times, it’s hopeless, and I’ll never be able to keep eating properly.

Challenges:

• Because I’ve fallen back from my food plan many times, I find it difficult to keep eating properly. But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless or impossible.
• It is quite common that people fail many times at a goal before they find their way to succeed.
• I am as human as the next person.
• I’ll keep trying!

Behavior: Keep a log of incidents of falling back from your food plan, then note how you challenged your irrational belief, and how you successfully managed your food plan following the incident. Identify other situations where you failed multiple times but then eventually succeeded.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #12 of 13

Irrational Belief #12: Eating poorly and stupidly makes me a rotten, stupid person.

Challenges:

• Eating poorly and stupidly makes me a person who is now behaving poorly around eating and who can change and eat better in the future.
• My value as a human being is not dependent on my eating behavior.
• My intelligence has nothing to do with my eating.
• People at every IQ level can behave badly around food AND people at every level can behave appropriately around food....regardless of my IQ, I have a choice how I behave.
  

Behavior: Keep a log of incidents of eating poorly and stupidly, then note how you challenged your irrational belief and how you successfully managed your food plan following the incident.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #9 of 13

Irrational Belief #9: I’m hungry and if I don’t eat right now, it will never end and I won’t be able to stand it.

Challenges:

• If I don’t eat right now, I will continue to lose.
• This one extra food will not really make me feel any better, but it will directly delay my goal.
• The hunger I am feeling is a type of pain. It will fade if I can just wait a half hour. I’ll be able to make it.
• The grumbling in my stomach, the empty feelings and the cravings for food mean I am losing weight.
• This feeling is temporary, and if I can hold out just an hour or so it will be a major accomplishment!
• This is the most difficult effort I will ever have to make, and it’s worth the doing!
• What will it really do for me if I eat now? I will still want food but will have to work even harder to lose weight.
• How will I feel if I give in to the pain? (Think back to the previous times when you have given in, during other weight-loss attempts).
• Will my peers, friends and loved ones respect me if I give in to their sabotage or discouragement?
• How will I feel if I hold out a bit longer?
• If I’ve done it for a few days why can’t I do it for as long as it takes; how is now different?
• When I feel like this I will delay eating for 15 minutes and see if I still feel the same way after that time.
  

Behaviors: Practice these challenges when you feel this way and identify which ones work best for you.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #8 of 13

Irrational Belief #8: The situation/people/food made me eat.

Challenge:

• In some situations I feel tempted or weak, but I am the only one that can control my actions.
• If I act contrary to my own goals, I will try better to understand my own actions and thinking, rather than blame others.
• I will take responsibilty for my thoughts and actions.

Behavior: Take action to remove or reduce unnecessary temptation within your control as appropriate; i.e. do not keep unhealthy food in the house, choose restaurants that are more consistent with your food plan.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #7 of 13

Irrational Belief #7: If I eat even one thing that’s not on my food plan, my whole day is blown and I might as well eat everything I want.

Challenges:

• Every action I take is independent. Therefore, I can recover from any slip.
• I will work continuously at succeeding without ever putting myself down when I goof.

Behavior: Identify and log the triggers that led to the slip. Log behaviors following a slip that promote continuation of the food plan. Identify other situations where you failed multiple times but then eventually succeeded.

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #6 of 13

Irrational Belief #6: I shouldn’t have to do this.

Challenges:

• I am heavy because of my biology and my actions, and I can choose to stay this way or change it. If I decide to change it, I will because I want to, not because I have to; therefore I should manage my food if I want to change.
• Life is not fair, and there are no rules that anyone should or should not do anything.
• I use words like “should” to excuse me from engaging in behaviors that I find difficult.
  

Behavior: Keep log about how frequently you think about “shoulds.” Dispute the “shoulds” on every occasion.

Weight Management: Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #1 of 13

Irrational Belief #1: I must have my food when it is right there and I want it.

Challenges:

• There is no reason why I must have this food right now.
• I don’t need it.
• I can stand the discomfort temporarily.
• When I think of the situation as something I prefer to do, instead of something I must do, I still may not like it, but it’s easier to tolerate.
  

Behaviors: Substitute drinking water for food; make healthy snacks more available than unhealthy snacks.