I have a scar on the thumb of my left hand. It is a small triangular white patch of scar tissue just at the beginning of my knuckle. I can still remember getting how I got the wound. I was probably 5 or 6 and I had gotten up one night for midnight snack. My snacks were usually carrots. So there I was, late at night, peeling a carrot over the trash can. I sliced into my thumb fairly deep, such that it took quite some time for most of the bleeding to stop, then, since it was near the knuckle, kept getting opened up again. Every once in awhile the scar hurts and it reminds me of the wound.
I've been a big fan of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) for many years. I've never attended an AA meeting, but having worked with people with serious addictions (to many different things, not just alcohol), I've picked up some of the wisdom the Twelve Steps offer.
One of the most powerful and often most difficult is Step 9, known as making amends. This step is often implemented after a long process of healing self, self-awareness, and understanding of the wrongs the have occurred due to the addictions. Making amends is more than saying "I'm sorry". Anyone can say that. Most people say it as an automatic reaction, but do they feel sorrowful for their actions? In most cases not, it is a polite statement given in such situations.
Amending means changing. Think of the great efforts we must take to amend the Constitution of the United States. Think of what that means to amend the Constitution. We are literally changing the way we govern our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. Thus, the framers of the Constitution made it very difficult, considered it such a serious task, that it requires two-thirds approval of either the Senate or House just to propose an amendment, and the 75% of the States (legislatures) have approve it. Amending is a huge task.
Such is the same with Step 9. By following through with this step, you are actually changing a relationship. In most, but not all, you are repairing the brokenness that the addiction caused. The pain of the brokenness is replaced by the pain of healing. It does not have to be the other person, the person you hurt, who changes. The act of amending changes you. Thus, since you are no longer the same person you were at the beginning of the relationship, the relationship must change. How it changes depends on you and the other person. There are times where all you can do is amend and move on, mourning the loss of that relationship; other times you dance with joy in healing tunes.
My scar on my left thumb is a bold reminder of the wound. It is not the same wound I had when I was young. My skin amended and changed...but left me wiser for the relationship.
Showing posts with label well-being. Show all posts
Showing posts with label well-being. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Smoke Out
Adult smoking cessation, like losing weight, is one of the most popular goals for people of all ages. Like starting a new fitness regime it is also seen as something to build up to - something that's hard work and takes a lot of discipline.
I'm glad to be able to tell you that in my experience if you're finding adult smoking cessation unbearably tough and you're looking for a new solution then you're probably doing it all wrong.
It's hard to convincingly put into words how simple smoking cessation can be if you get the technique right. I struggled with attempt after attempt and while I once managed to get to 3 months I still always ended up back on the cigarettes.
Yet, without wanting to sound too much like a salesman, eventually I stumbled onto something that worked amazingly well and made giving up smoking a breeze.
OK, so realistically what works and what doesn't?
The less successful methods, ironically, tend to be the more expensive options. The various methods of nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) for example tend to cost a similar amount to continuing to smoke (there goes the "saving money" argument to quitting smoking!).
They also simply serve to swap the nicotine in your cigarettes for nicotine in other forms (such as a patch) so you're still actually addicted.
Even weeks after you've had your last cigarette - if you have happen to leave home without your latch or run out of gum you'll likely be back smoking within hours.
That's not what I think of as successful adult smoking cessation.
What I came to realise after numerous failed attempts myself was that the core of the problem - the real key to solving your smoking problem rapidly and painlessly - is to focus your efforts on changing the *habit* that makes you want a cigarette.
As pesonal examples I always used to smoke when I was in a bar having a drink. Why? I would also smoke when feeling nervous about a dentists appointment or job interview for example.
Smoking cessation techniques that deal with *why* these situations are the ones to make us want to smoke, and then breaking that behavioural, sub-conscious knee-jerk reaction often work rapidly, painlessly and over the long term.
Indeed, discuss with ex-smokers how they managed to quit and most would admit that their success is down to spending time on modifying their behaviour. Even those who disagree will likely have made some changes without even realising it.
In contrast, ask how many current smokers have tried nicotine replacement and I think the answer will shock you. So many people have tried and failed with NRT that it's quite shocking.
I should say to reassure you that in terms of changing your bahaviour you will still be yourself. We're not talking about changing your personality. I was nervous I would lose those elements that I sub-consciously linked to smoking - the fun, talkative side to my personality. But of course I didn't. The changes are far more subtle and just serve to break the bonds between smoking and why you think you need to do it. You'll barely notice a difference yourself, except that you will suddenly just about fancy a cigarette.
No stopping yourself having one - you actually just won't want one! Imagine that feeling you get *just after* a cigarette - where you feel fulfilled, calm, happy and don't fancy a smoke - carrying on all day long.
It's an amazing experience!
Today the science of adult smoking cessation using behavioural modification is advanced-enough to have a range of solutions and no doubt one of them will perfectly match both your behaviour and your pocket.
For more detailed advice on adult smoking cessation read our indepth free report at Tips On Stopping Smoking
Source: http://www.submityourarticle.com/
Permalink: http://www.submityourarticle.com/a.php?a=28577
I'm glad to be able to tell you that in my experience if you're finding adult smoking cessation unbearably tough and you're looking for a new solution then you're probably doing it all wrong.
It's hard to convincingly put into words how simple smoking cessation can be if you get the technique right. I struggled with attempt after attempt and while I once managed to get to 3 months I still always ended up back on the cigarettes.
Yet, without wanting to sound too much like a salesman, eventually I stumbled onto something that worked amazingly well and made giving up smoking a breeze.
OK, so realistically what works and what doesn't?
The less successful methods, ironically, tend to be the more expensive options. The various methods of nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) for example tend to cost a similar amount to continuing to smoke (there goes the "saving money" argument to quitting smoking!).
They also simply serve to swap the nicotine in your cigarettes for nicotine in other forms (such as a patch) so you're still actually addicted.
Even weeks after you've had your last cigarette - if you have happen to leave home without your latch or run out of gum you'll likely be back smoking within hours.
That's not what I think of as successful adult smoking cessation.
What I came to realise after numerous failed attempts myself was that the core of the problem - the real key to solving your smoking problem rapidly and painlessly - is to focus your efforts on changing the *habit* that makes you want a cigarette.
As pesonal examples I always used to smoke when I was in a bar having a drink. Why? I would also smoke when feeling nervous about a dentists appointment or job interview for example.
Smoking cessation techniques that deal with *why* these situations are the ones to make us want to smoke, and then breaking that behavioural, sub-conscious knee-jerk reaction often work rapidly, painlessly and over the long term.
Indeed, discuss with ex-smokers how they managed to quit and most would admit that their success is down to spending time on modifying their behaviour. Even those who disagree will likely have made some changes without even realising it.
In contrast, ask how many current smokers have tried nicotine replacement and I think the answer will shock you. So many people have tried and failed with NRT that it's quite shocking.
I should say to reassure you that in terms of changing your bahaviour you will still be yourself. We're not talking about changing your personality. I was nervous I would lose those elements that I sub-consciously linked to smoking - the fun, talkative side to my personality. But of course I didn't. The changes are far more subtle and just serve to break the bonds between smoking and why you think you need to do it. You'll barely notice a difference yourself, except that you will suddenly just about fancy a cigarette.
No stopping yourself having one - you actually just won't want one! Imagine that feeling you get *just after* a cigarette - where you feel fulfilled, calm, happy and don't fancy a smoke - carrying on all day long.
It's an amazing experience!
Today the science of adult smoking cessation using behavioural modification is advanced-enough to have a range of solutions and no doubt one of them will perfectly match both your behaviour and your pocket.
For more detailed advice on adult smoking cessation read our indepth free report at Tips On Stopping Smoking
Source: http://www.submityourarticle.com/
Permalink: http://www.submityourarticle.com/a.php?a=28577
Monday, August 3, 2009
Anxiety, Part 3
Some Anxiety Symptoms
Individuals that suffer from anxiety disorder usually exhibit several different symptoms. Some of them are listed below.
Keep in mind, that there are more symptoms and different degrees of the symptoms. If you feel like you have some of these and are concerened, please see your medical physician or other health care provider or a licensed mental health professional in your area. Because some of these symptoms usually occur with other illnesses it is important to seek professional advice. A physician should be the one to diagnose if you have anxiety.
For an idea of where you are with your anxiety, you can take this online assessment (for educational purposes only). Share your results with your PCP or MH professional.
It is always best to rule out other medical conditions. Ruling these out sometimes bring some peace of mind and can go a long way in easing some of your anxiety related symptoms.
Finally, tomorrow we'll look at some treatment options
~
Individuals that suffer from anxiety disorder usually exhibit several different symptoms. Some of them are listed below.
- Extreme Fear
- Shortness of breath
- Insomnia
- Irritability
- Feeling of lump in throat
- Muscle spasm/twitching
- Irregular heart beat
- Heart palpitations
- Fever/chills
Keep in mind, that there are more symptoms and different degrees of the symptoms. If you feel like you have some of these and are concerened, please see your medical physician or other health care provider or a licensed mental health professional in your area. Because some of these symptoms usually occur with other illnesses it is important to seek professional advice. A physician should be the one to diagnose if you have anxiety.
For an idea of where you are with your anxiety, you can take this online assessment (for educational purposes only). Share your results with your PCP or MH professional.
It is always best to rule out other medical conditions. Ruling these out sometimes bring some peace of mind and can go a long way in easing some of your anxiety related symptoms.
Finally, tomorrow we'll look at some treatment options
~
Friday, July 31, 2009
Anxiety, Part 2
Types of Anxiety Disorders
1. Generalized Anxiety Disorder-Individuals that this affect are always anticipating something bad to happen. They have excessive worries about health, money and family etc.GAD occurs more often in women than in men.
2. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder-This disorder is characterized by obsessive behavior and compulsions. Individuals perform rituals (such as hand washing) in hopes that obsessive thoughts would go away.
3. Panic Disorder- Individuals who are affected by this disorder experience feelings of terror that come on suddenly and often. They are often left in fear of certain situations and and are always in fear about the next panic attack.
4. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder- This disorder usually develops after an individual experience some terrifying situation usually involving physical harm, death, or near death. The individual is left with bad memories about the ordeal that don't seem to go away.
5. Social Anxiety Disorder- With this disorder individuals experience extreme, severe or excessive self-awareness in public situations. This is the classic Stage Fright, but taken to an extreme degree and applied in almost all situations: grocery store, school, open areas. There is always a fear of being watched and scrutinized.
A lot of returning soldiers stationed in Iraqi and Afghanistan experience this as they were constantly on high alert over there. The open market was a dangerous area for them. They never knew who was an enemy coming up to shoot, stab, or blow them up. So now, back at home, the basketball gym, the mall, 4th of July parade can bring on this fear.
So now, you know a little of the types of disorders. Keep in mind that each of these disorders can range from having very mild levels to very extreme levels, and anywhere in-between.
Next week, we'll start looking at some symptoms.
1. Generalized Anxiety Disorder-Individuals that this affect are always anticipating something bad to happen. They have excessive worries about health, money and family etc.GAD occurs more often in women than in men.
2. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder-This disorder is characterized by obsessive behavior and compulsions. Individuals perform rituals (such as hand washing) in hopes that obsessive thoughts would go away.
3. Panic Disorder- Individuals who are affected by this disorder experience feelings of terror that come on suddenly and often. They are often left in fear of certain situations and and are always in fear about the next panic attack.
4. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder- This disorder usually develops after an individual experience some terrifying situation usually involving physical harm, death, or near death. The individual is left with bad memories about the ordeal that don't seem to go away.
5. Social Anxiety Disorder- With this disorder individuals experience extreme, severe or excessive self-awareness in public situations. This is the classic Stage Fright, but taken to an extreme degree and applied in almost all situations: grocery store, school, open areas. There is always a fear of being watched and scrutinized.
A lot of returning soldiers stationed in Iraqi and Afghanistan experience this as they were constantly on high alert over there. The open market was a dangerous area for them. They never knew who was an enemy coming up to shoot, stab, or blow them up. So now, back at home, the basketball gym, the mall, 4th of July parade can bring on this fear.
So now, you know a little of the types of disorders. Keep in mind that each of these disorders can range from having very mild levels to very extreme levels, and anywhere in-between.
Next week, we'll start looking at some symptoms.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
High Anxiety
We've looked at weight and nutrition and diet for the past couple months. Let's look a little at well-being.
We'll start with anxiety. Put in a very simple term, anxiety is all about fear. When you have anxiety, at the root is a fear of something. A good example is the "butterflies in the stomach" most of us have gotten before we had to give a talk, or say our line in the school play, etc. What's another term for those "butterflies"? Stage FRIGHT. Meaning we are afraid, or have fear, of getting in front of others.
Let's look at anxiety in more depth over the next few days.
Understanding Anxiety
Anxiety is a protection mechanism that the body uses to alert us to trouble. It puts our body in what's called a "fight or flight mode" and alerts us so we can react. It is also a normal reaction to stress. If you've ever come across a rabbit in the yard you may see them tense up and watch you, to see what you will do. They are in a "fight or flight" mode. They are waiting to see if they need to defend themselves or they need to run like hell. We are the same. When we percieve trouble (in any form) our body does the same thing. We have fear and our body waits to see what we should do about it.
We cannot get rid of anxiety because this is how the human body is made to operate. Anxiety is designed to protect us and help us face challenges. When our body is constantly or too often in this fight or flight mode and as a result we start to experience psychological, physical or emotional stress this is called anxiety disorder.
Too much stress can also lead to weight problems since when we are stressed our body naturally stores fat, or minimally, stops burning fat, just in case we need to "run like hell", we have the energy from the fat to burn. Fortunately most "stress" does not result in our need to run like hell, but our body does not necessarily know that. If we experience constant stress, then our body continues to burn less fat, store more.
This we can control and minimize to the point where it does not disrupt our daily lifestyle. However the first step in controlling anxiety is to understand how it affects us.
Tomorrow, we will look at the different types of anxiety problems.
We'll start with anxiety. Put in a very simple term, anxiety is all about fear. When you have anxiety, at the root is a fear of something. A good example is the "butterflies in the stomach" most of us have gotten before we had to give a talk, or say our line in the school play, etc. What's another term for those "butterflies"? Stage FRIGHT. Meaning we are afraid, or have fear, of getting in front of others.
Let's look at anxiety in more depth over the next few days.
Understanding Anxiety
Anxiety is a protection mechanism that the body uses to alert us to trouble. It puts our body in what's called a "fight or flight mode" and alerts us so we can react. It is also a normal reaction to stress. If you've ever come across a rabbit in the yard you may see them tense up and watch you, to see what you will do. They are in a "fight or flight" mode. They are waiting to see if they need to defend themselves or they need to run like hell. We are the same. When we percieve trouble (in any form) our body does the same thing. We have fear and our body waits to see what we should do about it.
We cannot get rid of anxiety because this is how the human body is made to operate. Anxiety is designed to protect us and help us face challenges. When our body is constantly or too often in this fight or flight mode and as a result we start to experience psychological, physical or emotional stress this is called anxiety disorder.
Too much stress can also lead to weight problems since when we are stressed our body naturally stores fat, or minimally, stops burning fat, just in case we need to "run like hell", we have the energy from the fat to burn. Fortunately most "stress" does not result in our need to run like hell, but our body does not necessarily know that. If we experience constant stress, then our body continues to burn less fat, store more.
This we can control and minimize to the point where it does not disrupt our daily lifestyle. However the first step in controlling anxiety is to understand how it affects us.
Tomorrow, we will look at the different types of anxiety problems.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Healthy Lifestyle Balance on Vacation
Final Thoughts on Vacationing and remaining Healthy:
Take time to think about the problems in advance. For example, you normally walk every morning before work, but you plan to sleep in on vacation.
Write out the problem and list some possible solutions. Could you walk every afternoon to a scenic area (such as along the beach)?
Decide on your best solution and write it out.
Agree with yourself in advance that if you are able to carry out the plan, you will somehow reward yourself afterwards.
Be specific about the goal and the reward.
~
Take time to think about the problems in advance. For example, you normally walk every morning before work, but you plan to sleep in on vacation.
Write out the problem and list some possible solutions. Could you walk every afternoon to a scenic area (such as along the beach)?
Decide on your best solution and write it out.
Agree with yourself in advance that if you are able to carry out the plan, you will somehow reward yourself afterwards.
Be specific about the goal and the reward.
~
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Healthy Lifestyle Balance on Vacation
If you tend to be tense on vacation, ask why and what you can do about it.
a. Avoid extended periods when you are doing what others want and not what you want. Be assertive about what you want to do.
b. Plan daily times to relax. Try not to get overtired (e.g., by doing too much sightseeing in a short period of time).
c. Plan regular breaks while driving. Carry low-calorie snacks and take breaks to get out of the car and walk.
~
a. Avoid extended periods when you are doing what others want and not what you want. Be assertive about what you want to do.
b. Plan daily times to relax. Try not to get overtired (e.g., by doing too much sightseeing in a short period of time).
c. Plan regular breaks while driving. Carry low-calorie snacks and take breaks to get out of the car and walk.
~
Friday, July 17, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
~ Myths on Dieting and Food ~
Myth: Natural or herbal weight-loss products are safe and effective.
Fact: A weight-loss product that claims to be “natural” or “herbal” is not necessarily safe. These products are not usually scientifically tested to prove that they are safe or that they work. For example, herbal products containing ephedra (now banned by the U.S. Government) have caused serious health problems and even death. Newer products that claim to be ephedra-free are not necessarily danger-free, because they may contain ingredients similar to ephedra.
Tip: Talk with your health care provider before using any weight-loss product. Some natural or herbal weight-loss products can be harmful.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Let's Get Started!
OK, let's start off with a popular but often difficult topic....weight. EVERYONE struggles with weight at some time in their life. Whether it is just a few pounds or several hundreds, people have weight issues.
It happens.
What tends to sabotage us is how we think about food, our diets, and our ability to lose. We are always talking to ourselves in some way. Try this: sit quietly for a while with your eyes closed. Then, for the next 30 seconds, try not to talk to yourself in your head. OK? GO!
So what happened? If you are like 99.9% of folks, you thought things like "I'm not talking to myself. Oh, crap! I'm thinking to myself! Stop it! Ok, starting NOW, I'm not talking to myself....wow, this is easy not talking to myself. Oh, CRAP!"
The point is we can't NOT talk to ourselves (my English-teacher brother would have a fit with my double negative there). We are ALWAYS talking to ourselves...basically, that's what our dreams are...us talking to ourselves in our dreams.
So it would make sense that we are always making comments to ourselves about our weight, how we look and how we perform. I'd guess that most people who struggle with weight, tell themselves negative things that tend to lead them into further negative behavior.
What follows is a series of beliefs some people have regarding their ability to lose weight. Then there are a few "challenges" to that particular belief. Finally, there is a behavior for you to do for a week or so, to change your irrational belief into a positive step toward health.
There are about 13 of them. Not all will apply to you. If you find one that does, one that seems to hit home, try out the challenges and behaviors for a week or so until you feel comfortable. Then see if there is another belief that fits you. Don't try to do more than one at a time.
Ready to make some changes? Let's GO!
It happens.
What tends to sabotage us is how we think about food, our diets, and our ability to lose. We are always talking to ourselves in some way. Try this: sit quietly for a while with your eyes closed. Then, for the next 30 seconds, try not to talk to yourself in your head. OK? GO!
So what happened? If you are like 99.9% of folks, you thought things like "I'm not talking to myself. Oh, crap! I'm thinking to myself! Stop it! Ok, starting NOW, I'm not talking to myself....wow, this is easy not talking to myself. Oh, CRAP!"
The point is we can't NOT talk to ourselves (my English-teacher brother would have a fit with my double negative there). We are ALWAYS talking to ourselves...basically, that's what our dreams are...us talking to ourselves in our dreams.
So it would make sense that we are always making comments to ourselves about our weight, how we look and how we perform. I'd guess that most people who struggle with weight, tell themselves negative things that tend to lead them into further negative behavior.
What follows is a series of beliefs some people have regarding their ability to lose weight. Then there are a few "challenges" to that particular belief. Finally, there is a behavior for you to do for a week or so, to change your irrational belief into a positive step toward health.
There are about 13 of them. Not all will apply to you. If you find one that does, one that seems to hit home, try out the challenges and behaviors for a week or so until you feel comfortable. Then see if there is another belief that fits you. Don't try to do more than one at a time.
Ready to make some changes? Let's GO!
WELCOME
Thanks for visiting my blog! I hope you will find the information contained herein useful and helpful in your daily life. I willl add information every weekday (I take weekends off to relax and rest and enjoy my family) on various topics. Sometimes I will add a running series, one each day on the same topic.
I welcome any and all comments, requests, flames (do we use that term anymore?). If you have question or concern, please let me know. I'll do my best to address it.
My ultimate goal in doing this blog is to help you help yourself to achieve the highest level of quality in your life. My tips may not work for you specifically, but generally they have helped countless others in some way. I ask you to consider the information and decided if it would benefit you.
A caution: before you start any weight loss, diet, or health-related change, I STRONGLY recommend you talk with your physician or other healthcare professional. You never know how a change will affect your health. Most often, change is good, but it's always best to ask someone who knows, like your doctor. See my disclaimer on this page.
Best of health and well-being to you!
I welcome any and all comments, requests, flames (do we use that term anymore?). If you have question or concern, please let me know. I'll do my best to address it.
My ultimate goal in doing this blog is to help you help yourself to achieve the highest level of quality in your life. My tips may not work for you specifically, but generally they have helped countless others in some way. I ask you to consider the information and decided if it would benefit you.
A caution: before you start any weight loss, diet, or health-related change, I STRONGLY recommend you talk with your physician or other healthcare professional. You never know how a change will affect your health. Most often, change is good, but it's always best to ask someone who knows, like your doctor. See my disclaimer on this page.
Best of health and well-being to you!
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