Wisdom

Wisdom rises upon the ruins of folly. ~ Thomas Fuller



We gain knowledge from other people, but wisdom comes from within. We have to live our own lives, profit from our blunders, and learn from our experience. Nobody can do these things for us.



Part of living is making mistakes. Some of us have to keep on making the same mistakes until we suddenly make a breakthrough and achieve a new perspective on ourselves and our actions. It often seems we are never going to be ready for the next step...and then suddenly we take it and we come through. We think we're not going to make it; then we make a leap forward.



Nothing needs to be lost or wasted in our lives. Even the folly of our problem can teach us hard lessons if we are attentive and brave. Our craziness may help us to see more clearly and gain insight into ourselves and others.

~~

Have You Bent Your Kids Today?

That seems like a strange thing to say. But the idea is actually millennia old. It comes from Proverbs 22:6 (see: NASB; God's Word; King James; American King James; ASV; Basic English Bible; Douay-Rheims; Darby; ERV; World Bible; YLT; Other traslations/interpretations).

“Train your child up in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it” (King James Version). Probably most people have heard of this wise saying. I’m not a Hebrew scholar by any means, but I’ve heard that the translation truest to the original text is “Train your child up in the way he is BENT” (capitalization mine). Children are bent? Well, in a way, yes.

The idea from this comes from the vineyard. Of course, vineyards are essential to life, even more so in olden days. If you’ve seen a vineyard you will notice that vines grow every which way. They don’t grow straight up, they’re curvy and gnarled and as much as it looks orderly, the vines are all over. When the vines are young, they do grow curvy. If you try to force the young vine to grow straight, one of two things can happen: 1) the vine breaks, gets destroyed, dies; or 2) the vine does not produce as much as vines allowed to grow naturally. What growers do, then, is guide the vine as straight as it can grow, working with the natural bending and curving to get the desired effect.

What does this have to do with children? The exact same thing applies, thus, this is what the Proverb is telling us. Allow children to grow naturally, using their natural, God-given character, to teach them. Then, they will not rebel when they are old, the teaching will be ingrained in them.

When we try to make our children do what is unnatural to them we can break them or cause them to be damaged in some way. We often do this by forcing them to behave perfectly. Kids are not perfect behavers. They are wild, have tons of energy, and they make LOTS of mistakes. That is the way all kids are bent. Some are bent more than others, though…we’ve all seen mild-mannered kids and we’ve seen extremely wild kids. A wise parent takes Proverbs’ advice and USES those personality traits to guide the child to proper behavior, not PERFECT behavior, but proper behavior.

If you need advice on how to bend your kids without breaking them, seek the advice of a wise counselor who understands this verse.

What Difference Do We Make Anyway?

A while back, Dr. James Dobson, in Focus on the Family magazine, answered a question from a lady who asked why God answered a prayer to heal her son, but didn’t heal her husband. He responded that this is a sign of God’s sovereignty, but that He is always with us in these situations. He went on to tell about some friends of his, one who has lived with hemophilia from age 1 and this man’s wife who was cured of Hodgkin’s disease after intense prayer. The point of Dr. Dobson’s reply is that we do not always know why God says “yes” to certain prayers and “no” to other. It is God’s will that is in charge and not our own. Some are left to suffer and other healed, but that it all works out to fulfill God’s Plan.

What struck me as I was reading this article was that suffering and healing of Dr. Dobson's friends very much had a purpose. In this case, one purpose was to help him answer the lady’s question. It helped him explain to this lady that she is not alone in her questioning and that we have to trust that God is always with us regardless of the outcome. Our prayers matter but we may never see the results of those prayers.

Several years ago I had a conversation with a colleague of mine who was questioning what difference we really make in the world. During this particular time in her life, she was really struggling in her faith. Personally and professionally, she felt insignificant. We worked together and did similar tasks, but she did not see results in her work and was very frustrated. Spiritually, she had all but given up hope that God answered prayers. She then asked how I handled the frustration of trying so hard to make a difference in the lives of the people where we worked yet not seeming to have an impact. I told her it was due to faith.

Our job was to help manage the behavior of people who have mental retardation. In and of itself, it is a difficult job, but the bureaucracy of state government was even more difficult to manage. After a few years, I realized that my job really did not make a difference in the lives of these people. There had been dozens of therapist before me who did the same things I was doing; yet the same behaviors continued. Thus, the actual duties I performed did not have an impact. What did make a difference was me. I began to place less emphasis on my job duties and more emphasis on ministering to the needs of the individuals. I ministered by showing that I cared and by allowing God’s love to show through me. Still, results were scarce, but I had planted seeds and I had faith those seeds would grow.

I told my colleague that she could make a difference every day of her life if she approaches all she does with the faith that God is in control. Even seemingly minor, everyday activities can make a huge impact in the life of someone. Consider driving to work. The little courtesies you display, such as letting someone cut in front of you or allowing someone to turn before you can impact those other drivers lives. Perhaps they were having a hectic start to the day and your act of kindness was the one bright spot that started the day running smoothly. The catch is you will probably never know what impact you have had.

The same applies to work. If we approach work with the mindset that we are there to do God’s will in all we do, then picking up a dropped piece of paper or holding a door open can be the spark that starts a chain reaction of goodwill. Not to long ago, there was a movement to do “Random acts of kindness”. This was touted on the Oprah Winfrey Show, promoted by books such as Chicken Soup for the Soul, and other such venues. This was exactly what I was trying to describe to my colleague. By doing random acts of kindness, you give others a glimpse of God’s love for them. They may not realize that is what you are doing, but that tiny glimpse may be all they need to seek further the kingdom of God. Yet we may never see the results, but that is not really what matters, is it?

~~

Simple Encouraging thought for a Friday

When I looked at the top of the mountain, I realized that all the people at the top of the mountain, didn't just fall there.

Meditate on that for today. Journal what it means for you in your life, your struggles, your journey.

Let me know your thoughts.

Peace.

More GREAT Resources to Check out

Good Carbs vs Bad Carbs
Carbohydrates
http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/nutrition/nutrition_for_everyone/basics/carbohydrates.htm

Complex Carbohydrates
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/imagepages/19529.htm

“Power” Foods
http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=61

What’s Complex About Carbohydrate?
http://www.snac.ucla.edu/pages/Resources/Handouts/HOCarbohydrate.pdf

Types of Carbohydrate
http://www.diabetes.org/nutrition-and-recipes/nutrition/types-of-carb.jsp


Eating Out

Health Dining Finder (by zip code)
http://www.healthydiningfinder.com/site/

Healthy Fast Food Options
http://www.healthchecksystems.com/ffood.htm

Fast Food Alternatives
http://children.webmd.com/child-nutrition-8/fast-food-alternatives

Healthy Fast Food Meals
http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/21-healthier-fast-food-meals

List of Restaurant menus w/fat, carbs, calories, Weight Watchers points
http://www.dwlz.com/restaurants.html

Reading Food Labels
http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/foodlab.html

Recipes for One or Two
http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/guide/easy-meals-for-1-or-2

Portion Control

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/lf_hl_kick_start_your_health/article/0,2857,FOOD_26736_5513088_01,00.html

http://www.checkyourhealth.org/nutrition/portiondistortion/pd_movies.htm

Irrational Beliefs and Challenges #10 of 13

Irrational Belief #10: I am poor at managing my food.

Challenges:

• At times I eat well and can manage food better now and in the future.
• I lacked skills in managing, but I am able to learn and do better each day.
• Because I was poor at managing in the past does not mean I cannot be good at it with time, effort, and patience with myself.
  

Behavior: Develop written guidelines for each meal to follow your food plan. Avoid impulse shopping. Prepare shopping lists and shop when not hungry.